Wednesday, April 22, 2009

All hail these torturous times!

"I will never relent in defending America no matter what it takes." - George W. Bush (otherwise known as DUBYA according to his Mama)

Yes, indeed. The end justifies the means. We've been kept SAFE from those 14 men living in a cave for eight full years now. Doesn't anybody get it? The torture of those held in secret American detention camps around the world has MADE US SAFE!

Oh wait ....... wha? Turns out that the guy who gave up his information immediately was saying the same thing after being waterboarded 189 times? Well why the hell didn't they waterboard him the 190th time! No doubt that would have done the trick. I mean, it's like gambling ....... it's like pulling the handle on that damn slot machine. Just ONE MORE TIME and I'll win the jackpot. ONE MORE TIME!

Oh sure, now yer gonna tell me that I can't prove a negative. I can't actually PROVE that torturing prisoners held without due process, without lawyers, without any kind of legal representation and without being given any rights, has kept us safe for eight years.

Well maybe I can't PROVE it. But hey, I know it in my heart. I KNOW that's the reason no one has blown up or supposedly hijacked a jetliner and run it into more of our skyscrapers. The heck with this guy:

Who did it?

The world is full of nut cases, ya know?

Logic tells us that 14 guys in a cave are WAY more adept at attacking the world's most technologically (for now) advanced nation in the world ......... with the world's largest and best defense system, than anyone from INSIDE the US of A.

But back to the matter at hand. Torture. The best, safest, most effective way of keeping our nation safe. So PRESIDENT (our President ... ya, right) Obama thinks that in the past (and you just KNOW he's pointing right at DUBYA, as always) we've lost "our moral bearings."

Well first of all, how dare he criticize the man who kept us safe for EIGHT YEARS following the cavemen's attack. How DARE he suggest that torture is not the moral high road (isn't it?).

I mean, FOX news is my gospel and they think it's the way to go. So I'm just sayin' ........ well ....... what other choice is there?

Oh sure, yer gonna say that in order to lead the world (which is what we've always wanted, right?) we must walk the walk, talk the talk (oh, and mean it, too?) and actually lead via a higher moral compass. But really, where will that get us?

I can't think this hard. It's too troublesome to have to imagine a world where we take the time to contemplate, understand, and empathize with those in the world of different beliefs/lifestyles/environments. I could go on but hey, my brain is hurting already. I mean, just try to imagine it: TALKING? Compromising? Understanding? Puhleeeeeeeeeeeease!

Time for me to go turn on the screaming rantings of Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly. Now there's something that doesn't torture my brain to understand. Why? Because it's so simple!