Nuts, anyone?

OK, I admit it. I admit it. I'm confused here. So now, the new "N" word is ..................... NUTS?

Just heard on the news this morning that indeed, Jesse Jackson used the "n" word. Now I ask you, how ridiculous is it to hear a professional, national news anchor saying "the 'N' word". Are we in grade school?



When I watched the Jesse Jackson tape, rerun multi-gillion times in case we missed it the first 2295 showings, I heard him say "nuts." Shocking. Next he's gonna say cashews and the national gasp will be heard on Mars.

I'm not denying that Jackson's sentiments are nasty, uncalled for, out of place and well ...... just plain stupid. I mean ...... in his eyes there's a problem with asking Fathers to step up to the plate and act as Fathers? Bill Cosby has said it, now Barack Obama is saying it. If you don't like what they're saying, step up and be a Father (and a good, non-cheating husband while you're at it) and maybe you won't hear it anymore. Leadership is the stepping stone to change.

But I'm not writing this BLOG to soap box my personal feelings about responsibility. I want to talk about nuts. Really. I do.

I'm wondering if now that the "N" word means nuts ....... will we move on to the "F" word meaning ........ um ....... figs? The "S" word will mean (heaven forbid) ..... squash? CARAMBA!


I'm all over this!!

See you in my next "B" ...... or maybe on "FB".

"LG" all my "F"s out there in "B" land.


PS - I'm really "J"ing here. This "B" was just for "F". I know what the "N" word means.

A Zen Way of Life?

I've been thinking about this for quite a few years and it has always bugged me. See ..... I can't quite figure out the rationale here. Maybe you can help me.

There has been this "New Age" attitude going on for quite some time now. Hey, I have no problem at all with New Age, I feel as though I'm fairly New Agey myself, I just consider it "Old Age" because the ideas are not new.

Anyhoo, what I've noticed is something going on with men and their adaptation of the New Age idea of a Zen lifestyle. Again .... nothing new about that. Here's the problem as I see it: it seems to have more to do with a lack of responsibility than a true Zen lifestyle. Zen, from Zen Buddhism, is a school of Mahayana Buddhism which emphasizes the value of meditation and intuition. A valuable addition to anyone's life.



However, the idea of "Zen" has nothing to do with producing children and then not supporting them, either emotionally or financially. It also has nothing to do with dropping out of the responsibilities of life which include but are not limited to supporting oneself, being a positive addition to one's community, and being responsible to the family that one has created.

Speaking here from personal observation over the past 30 years, I've had male friends who feel that they must either "find themselves" or "do their own thing" whenever this thought might occur to them. Interpretation: don't expect them to support the children they've created and left behind with their ex-mates. They have the important work of "finding themselves" on their plates. When these men stop supporting their families both emotionally and financially, they wonder why their children end up wishing to have nothing to do with them. Gee .... must be something wrong with the kids, right? WRONG!



This trend also seems to include men who must move in with others, as they cannot (i.e. refuse) support themselves. Something cosmic brings them to the needy or blindly sympathetic (OK, been there myself, done that twice), and they find a wonderful woman/friend who already owns a home (it's magic!) and takes them in as a roommate. Suddenly life is good! They can do what they want every day, until the mate/roommate catches on. Sleeping all day (it's just SO hard to be conventional), wandering around (I must take my walk), playing on the computer (that new best seller is right around the corner!), taking photographs that never get sold ("Hey, I'm gonna be famooose") all are de rigueur for the New Age Zen Man. Income producing action is not, because that generally insists on at least a modicum of resolute activity.



What you all have found, you irresponsible boys out there, is the bottom of the barrel of your life. If your kids no longer care about you, you're middle aged and don't have your own apartment or own a home, someone else is supporting you, you spend your days commiserating with other men in the same position who have miraculously, finally found their perfect partner" (read: someone who will work her butt off full time to support you so you can be "Zenned"), believe this: you are not enlightened. You are fooling yourselves with your rationalizing. It won't work forever.

Yes, I know there are women out there in our world who abandon their children and depend on others to take care of them. Personally observed statistics say there are far fewer ....... but that's another BLOG, isn't it.

You may be wondering ...... why this subject ... why now? Well, yesterday I got to thinking. I got to thinking about a former friend's current lifestyle and got to wondering what lead him to this unfortunate point in his life. His sad/needy circumstances reminded me of the past 30 years during which time I've had a few male friends (I could count 'em on all my fingers and toes, but that's quite a few to have known who were in this sad and similar lifestyle situation) who managed to turn their irresponsible, self-indulgent, self-righteous attitudes into a rationalized "Zen lifestyle."

Bill Cosby and Barack Obama have spoken recently about the responsibility that Fathers have or should have in the Black community. While at this time there may be more instances of male parental irresponsibility in the Black community (these statistics are not at my fingertips and it doesn't really matter), this trend is certainly not limited to any particular ethnic group.

Here's the bottom line:

- If your kid(s) don't have much to do with you, there's probably a good reason and it's not THEM.

- If you are middle aged and have virtually nothing to show for the past 30-40 years of your life, there's a reason, and it's not someone else's fault. You and your choices are the reason. Being able to sit around all night and sleep all day because some sympathetic roomie has taken you in for the time being is not a fine example of a life well lived.

Oh ya, I know: "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose." Two ways of looking at that, right. However, "nothin' left to lose" is not Zen .... it's not good (you've lost it all, get it?) ...... and it's not cool.

Get a job supporting yourself and supporting your family. Your free Zen ride is not really freedom, and you know it. The soul's comfort of knowing you're doing the right thing ...... now THAT is Zen, and that is freedom. Freedom from having to rationalize who you are and the way you live and freedom from those niggling little thoughts around the corners of your mind telling you that you have taken wrong turns in your life and it's time to shape up and ship out into responsibility. That would be daily responsibility. Dang I've been wanting to say that for quite awhile. Thanks, yesterday's catalyst .... and you know who you are.

That's what I think ...... unless someone changes my mind. But I doubt it.

MoJo


~Dedicated to my Dad, who always tried to do his best in life, and had a helluva lot to show for the way he lived. His spirit and knowledge lives on through the people he taught and all those he helped teach that doing your best and always trying to do the right thing was the way to live one's life.~

Father's Day Will Be a Sad Day

I am stunned, not only to hear of Tim Russert's early death, but to realize how much this has affected me emotionally. There are some people we feel we know even though we've never met or spoken with them. I watched Tim Russert hundreds of times not only on "Meet the Press", but throughout these interesting political times as he was, hands down, my favorite political interviewer.



My third reaction, after being shocked and sad, was to think that this was not a personality that the world can stand to lose right now. Try right now to think of the person you know who epitomizes strength of character, joy of living, integrity, intelligence and knowledge. Quick ...... how many people popped into your mind?

It seems to me that what we need more than anything else right now, particularly in our nation's political arena, is a huge dose of integrity. Yesterday we lost a good person, a prime example of the best of humanity, and a leader.

Everything I hear about Mr. Russert tells me that he was also a fine example of the best of Fatherhood. Gone two days prior to Father's Day while I'm already missing my own Dad, I think how the world has lost two men who seemed always to try to do the right thing in their lives.





My heartfelt condolences go to Mr. Russert's family, friends, colleagues and to the rest of us who felt that via that big screen on our walls he had actually become part of our lives.



My Dad's first skydive at age 72. I miss my Dad. 8/10/14 - 12/23/07

Blog Blast for Peace

Today is the 4th annual "Blog blast for peace." Kind of a cool idea, I thought ...... but then I enjoy thinking. It's something I can do while sitting peacefully in my birthday chair holding my laptop and watching the birdies and clouds roll by. Or while staring at the full moon ..... which is another of my favorite pastimes.





I guess the idea is that if we all start thinking more about peace instead of war we might actually have more peace. This makes quite a bit of sense to me, actually, as I believe that what we think is what we manifest. You know ..... kind of like when I think about getting my butt out of my birthday chair and going out to pull weeds, I often do it. Well, for a little while, at least.

Sometimes it can take awhile to turn these thoughts into action. For instance, it took me 30 years of dreaming that I might some day like to live on 30 acres in the country to actually getting to the point of plunking myself on 30 acres in the country. Not sure why it took so long, but I suppose that life got in the way, as did earning a living and raising children, as did a considerable amount of indecision. I'm trying to not to be so indecisive these days ...... well, I think I'm trying. I'm not sure.







This concentrated thinking thing just works better collectively, don't you think? I mean, if we all concentrated on my garden being completed this summer ...... maybe I'd actually get there. Of course if concrete action is more your style, you're welcome to come on down here and start digging. No problem.

Anyhooo ........ this is what creative visualization and "The Secret" are all about: focus your thoughts, settle your brain, hold the reality of PEACE in your mind, and it will appear!



I'm all for whatever works. Practical is my middle name. So "hello" out there all my friendly, peaceful people. Peace is definitely a cool focus today ..... and every day.

Latest earth shaking headline from FOX NEWS: Brad Paisley Accused of Supporting Muslims for Being Named After a Pattern in a Scarf!

You heard it here first, folks! After getting Dunkin' Donuts to remove their Rachael Ray ad because of her seditious, terrorist supporting scarf, FOX NEWS is now going after Brad Paisley because it's obvious that he, also, is a far less subtle supporter of the terrorists. I mean, he unashamedly, publicly flaunts the name Paisley!



It's about time that a news organization as vigilant as FOX NEWS got after that subversive Rachael Ray. For months I've been aware that her constant pronouncing of "EVOO" on her alleged cooking show is really terrorist code for "Hey Herb, we're meeting tomorrow night at 7:o0pm to plan our next attack, then home in time to watch LOST."



We can all breathe a little easier today. "Fair and balanced" has been guarding the nation's butt, which is obviously somewhere no other news organization will go.

Beauty May Be Beheld by Only One, I've Found

So ....... when was the last time you shot off fireworks just for yourself? (Get your minds out of the gutter, for Pete's sake.) Well let me tell you, I just put about $65 into the night sky tonight just for my own personal celebration of being out in the country, alone and able to watch some pretty cool fireworks all by myself. OK so maybe I was celebrating a tad bit more than that, even, but that's enough, isn't it? A little Black Cat fun for one. Solo sparklers. Blasts and beauty beheld by the (for tonight) bachelorette.

Tonight was a good reminder for me that we all need to do what we want (if you can) when the mood is right. Rather than waiting for some publicly ordained moment for joy, celebrate as needed. It's kind of like instead of being told when it is appropriate to carouse, choosing how, when and why we feel the need to honor life here on earth and then going ahead with that choice.

If you're not lucky enough to live in a state where they don't care whether you blow off nine fingers and part of your nose in joyful celebration, I recommend moving to Missouri. Libertarians love it here ....... year round. Well, except for that dastardly helmet law, but we're working on that.

Cheers!

Sharon Stone and the Grace of God

Just heard on the news this morning about Sharon Stone's karma comment and China. She's certainly a beautiful person on the outside, I don't know her interior at all.


Sure would't mind having that body style, far as I can tell from here.

Nevertheless and beautiful bodies notwithstanding, the hub bub about Ms. Stone's statement got my attention and got me remembering ....... remembering how the blame for Hurricane Katrina and 9/11 belongs squarely on the backs of gay people. Oh you didn't know that? Well, Pat Robertson considers it so ...... what more do you need to know?

So anyhoo ..... what occurred to me is that this "karma game" is the new millennium, finger pointing version of the old "blame game". We just feel infinitely more enlightened when we're calling it "karma" instead of "blame".

In other words, we can blame those with whom we have issues for anything that goes wrong in their lives by calling it their "bad karma". So NYA NYA NYA ..... SEE, TOLD YOU you were wrong. Nanny nanny poo poo I KNEW IT was all your fault, see what happened to YOU - now you have your BAD KARMA!!




Problem with this is, who do we blame for our own foibles and tragedies? We all have them. Is Sharon Stone (who has had a severe stroke to deal with - maybe it was the fault of "Basic Instinct 2"?) REALLY blaming thousands of innocent people in China for their karma causing a horrendous earthquake? No, I don't really think so. I want to assume that she was just venting her distaste for the Chinese government and their mistreatment of Tibet. Politics is one thing, however, making karma assumptions where thousands, perhaps millions, of innocent people is concerned, is fully another.

This reminds me of another commonly used statement which I've often wondered about: "There but for the grace of God go I." I've heard many utilize this statement, often in a reverent manner, but always meaning something like, "whew, if I didn't have the grace of God on my shoulders, I may have ended up the same way THAT poor person did!" I've heard Oprah use this phrase, among many others who say it as though they are praising God. To me it wreaks the reverse. To me it sounds as though they praise themselves for owning the grace of God. I could be wrong ....... but to quote Charles Barkley, I doubt it.



So I've wondered ..... does this mean that the "poor person" did not receive God's grace? Does that mean that whatever the "poor person" did was warranted, because for some reason that "poor person" has fallen from "God's grace?"

Makes you wonder about God and love, doesn't it? Isn't God supposed to be about love? Isn't karma supposed to be about our own personal, private (PRIVATE) lessons? How dare we make the assumptions that we may know the reason for the tragedies in strangers' lives.

I'm riled this morning. Just a little bit. Because this has made me look at my own desire to judge those around me ...... albeit that quality occurs far less often than it used to, I still find it a difficult and nasty quality to wholeheartedly shake from my being. As I envision my painting of the world and the people in it without the constant cursory, instant and superficial judgment of others, I envision the world which I think God intended, whoever your personal "God" may be. It's not one with a holy finger pointed this direction, throwing earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes and toenail fungus at us when someone finds our choices distasteful, in their self-qualified opinions.

Why can't we all just get along. Hmph.

I poked myself in the eye

I read a quote this morning. It's a really good one by Marian Wright Edelman.

"Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine within yourself so that you can hear it in others."

Thinking to myself ....... I do hear other people. I love their authenticity, knowing the core of their being, feeling the love and caring that surges from their souls. This I feel from my good friends without exception, but do I feel my own core as well as I've thought? Do I know myself as well as I've imagined?

Today I doubt. Today I think that my desire to sit in my birthday chair, typing to friends, blogging, perusing eBay for that one thing our ranch still needs ...... may be my avoidance of life. I've been putting off the little daily necessities of life: bill paying, laundry, hanging out in coffee houses ...... in favor of sitting in my birthday chair watching the birds. I could be my Grandma. I'm watching life more than living it?

Maybe that's why I poked myself in the eye with a rusty wire yesterday. It forced me to leave my sanctuary, sit in a clinic waiting room (forever), have a doc poke me again in the eye with lidocaine (it stung) and dye (it was orange) and then shine a black light into my eye in the darkened room (pretty coooooooool, man!), and anticipate the hundreds in emergency medical bills we will now receive (again) because health insurance is - to be polite - shitty (that's as polite as I can be)!

Wait a minute ........ all yesterday's eye poke experience did was make me glad to be back in my birthday chair again.

Never mind.